A Letter I Wrote A Few Days Ago. .

This hurts. This really hurts. It hurts to even write this but I have to let it out. I'm just so sick of crying. I miss you. You only left 4 hours ago and I miss you. I cried at practice after school and even Stoner tried to cheer me up.
Everything is ok until I think about tomorrow. When I wake up tomorrow, will I be able to get out of bed? You were the only reason to wake up that early and now that reason is gone. What about when I DO go to school? What'll I see? I'll see a vacant seat where you used to sit. I'll see a ghost of you in the hallway only to take a second glimpse and realize you're not there. I'll see a tear in your sister's eye that only I'll understand. I'll see an empty seat at lunch, the same spot I'll probably continue to stare at. And next to it? A best friend being his usual self but every so often I'll see a glimpse of the hurt in his eyes. But only for a second. I'll see an untouched trumpet sitting alone on a shelf. I'll see noone in the morning sitting in the same chair that alwasy made my day.
I see nothing in that school and it's going to hurt to walk the halls and know you're not there to care. I'll continue to look for you at lunch, at your locker, in the band room, in the morning. And everytime I don't see you, I'll realize you're gone and just might get the urge to cry.
I've been trying so hard not to let you see how much I really am hurting but now that you're not there to see it, I'm just going to let it out. Coming back every other weekend isn't enough. You don't call me or hang out with me now so why should I believe you'll start to like you promised?
You probably have no idea but it broke my heart when you left for what seemed like forever over the summer. I cried then too. And when I saw you again, I just wanted to hug you and never let you go. But instead I let out a mere, "hey, how are you? I missed you"
And now, you're still not completely gone and I feel like there's a big empty hole in my life. You need to come back. I don't care if you move closer with your father or if you move back with your mother but you HAVE to come back. I feel like dying with you gone. What's there to look forward to?
I passed up the chance to go to a nicer school because I wanted to be in the same school as you and see you and I truly believed you would do the same.
I understand it's your life but you're ripping apart the lives of others by doing this. Nothing that we did together will EVER be as much fun. Nothing will ever be the same.